- As the father of two children, aged 5 and 18 months, parents of helicopters can be easy to drop.
- I constantly catch myself trying to protect them from hypothetical risks.
- However, I am learning to allow children to understand and do things for themselves.
You know them Terminator Films, when Arnold Schwarzenegger walks in a room and immediately begins to appreciate the possible threats with his cyber vision and he? As a parent of two young childrenaged 5 years and 18 months, I am exactly that.
I walk to a restaurant, and the “Radar of Danger” begins in overdrive. Sharp knife here. The teapot of the escalation drink there. Go to a friend’s houseAnd I can see nothing but electric outputs that excite the finger, acute corners, head sharing, and broken objects full of artery -rich pieces within light options.
My life is full of concerns that children take over. Just as if we are eating grapes, my interventioning thoughts meditate on an intact grape that manages to roll on the floor and later find myself blocking my 18 -month -old son’s throat. Or when my elder walks around with a pencil in his hand, and I imagine she slides and imposes herself.
Didn’t worry like this when I was younger
These thoughts observed by security once felt so alien to me. When I was younger, I took care of the wind by subjugating my body in all sorts of dangerous activities, leaving me with different wounds and ridiculously unresolved noise in my bones. Now, however, as a parent, and with a fully frightened reply mature, the apparent voltage I get when I see a toy car left on a corridor floor or a knife that is improperly placed near a countertop edge may be almost unbearable.
So easy to want to protect our children from danger and damage – this is the most natural instinct as a parent. I certainly do not want them to be covered in the same wounds that I grew up with.
But we are in an era when we can use so many studies on parents, and the well -being of well -being and mental health has never been in the spotlight as it is now. Some studies have shown that over-parenting, also known as helicopterIt may be related to children’s anxiety and depression, and children generally develop problems with coping when hitting unexpected obstacles or things do not go the way they want.
This style of parenting is also related to The lowest self -esteem and belief. After all, how can children afford future failures and obstacles when their parents are no longer in the picture, affecting things at any corner in the background and in the foreground for the sake of short -term security?
As a middle child growing up in an Asian family, I certainly experienced a fair dose of helicopter parenting – at least until my little sister was born, anyway. I was 10 years old at the time, and she was the first girl in the family, so all the attention was suddenly focused on her as she was with me for a decade. After that, it gave me the space to teach things yourself and be independent and adaptable.
I believe that if we, as parents, can train and nourish our children to be just as “better” than we – or at least let them understand it a little about themselves – We are on the right track.
I am trying to correct the course and give my children more independence
On the contrary, I am Giving my oldest independence. It has even helped me prepare the meal using plastic knives, and we will start to cook, with its help to induce food on the stove. I will allow my youngest to navigate the stairs on their own, with me half a dozen steps below, offering encouragement. He is also approaching a lot with the use of tools such as forks and pencils.
I still catch myself by directing or micromanizing my children or doing things for them that they can do independently, especially when the time is against us. But being aware of my attitudes and behavior is half the battle, and I slowly give them more tasks to make them more self-confident as they offer time and patience to answer their questions many.
It will be difficult, and no doubt there will be temperaments and tears soft when things do not go on the way of my children, but my partner and I will be there to help them support them and We build those important skills and critical thinking skills that will put them on life.