- For Love & Money is a column from Business Insider by answering your relationship and money questions.
- This week, a reader wants to change their thinking about spending money.
- Our columnist says they should start by assessing what they value for their savings.
- Do you have a question for our columnist? Write for love and money using this form Google.
Loved for love and money,
Throughout my life, I was taught to be a saver. Saving for tomorrow. Savings in case. Saving because it is better than spending with desire-nilly.
But now, tomorrow is here. I’m 60, and at this point, I think it’s time to spend more than a little. Maybe go a little crazy just because I can.
It is not as easy as most people are thinking of changing this particular mentality. How can I go from being an eternal saver to someone who knows how to spend?
Honestly,
The pension is here
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Dear retirement is here,
I congratulate you on your consciousness and desire to grow up. Your feeling you know how to save, but not how to spend is really penetrating. While saving and expenses are important learning skills, you are not just to know how to do the first.
We are used to the power of money and the importance of hanging over it from the cradle, but spending, for so many of us, is just a reaction. One thing we do to survive, engage and satisfy. No one teaches us how to spend the same reason no one teaches us to breathe. They assume that we will understand as we go because we need.
And yet, like breathing, there are more effective ways that give life to make it than others. As participation in the economy sober can finish work, smart expenses will go a long way to give us the enjoyable, joyful life we deserve. Your recognition that there is a better way tells me that you already have everything you need to find it.
However, to learn this new skill, you may have to discover many of the ideas that have made you so great in saving. How we use our money goes beyond practice; World our worldview in action. You dry it best in your letter: you skipped your life “saving for tomorrow.” Covering your bases not only for now, but also for later is the embodiment of responsibility.
Remember the ant and shrimp tale – the shrimp deceived his wine as the ant passed working, preparing for the winter forward. I’m sure you can imagine which insect survived to see spring.
That is to say, the mentality of a trainer is focused on the future, while someone capable of spending is based on the present. Future -focused mindset is often motivated by concern. Like ants, this concern is usually based on a valuable prediction of dormant crops and bad weather ahead.
The matter arises when the concern becomes customary, and the rational morphone prediction in a constant state of punishment. Savings and expenses, like most things, exist best in balance with another. You can plan for the future while enjoying the present.
To find this balance, you need to consider your relationships with money – the beliefs you keep for it, what you believe it says about you and what you think is there. You have written me for the sole purpose of changing your mind from a saver in a basket, which tells me that your value is to live your life better now, not being snoous through it as a dragon in the bed of his gold. Compare your beliefs about the money with this value. If they are not compatible, let them go.
Sometimes, however, they are compatible even if they may not look like this at first glance. You just have to become creative. For example, if you believe that “keeping money keeps me safe”, you can hire a planner To help you protect your pension years. If being successful seems to leave money for your loved ones when you die, you can create a belief. Once you have provided these old financial goals, you are free to make new – this time, for expenses.
If we have any expense purpose, most of us aim to not be high than not stressing for any purchases we make. When you have such shapeless plans, your results end up almost the same. This is the secret to spending well: get specific. Put true goals. Pay attention to your wishes. Be curious as to why you like the things you do.
When our expenses are reactionary, there is usually a voice in the back of our minds shouting, “You have to save this money!” So we feel guilty after every purchase and want to justify it ourselves. We deserve this. The image is important. Is one single. This meant a lot to our loved onesAnd over it goes.
What is lost in this protective spiral is how the experience actually felt. Take some time and observe what things bring you joy and meaning, then set your goals accordingly. Use your imagination and have fun with the details. If you want to travel, where do you want to go? What kind of place do you want to stay? Is the first class flight important to you? Whom do you want to bring?
We all have a fantasy about who we would like to be generous, wise aunt from the world, cowboy. Money cannot buy our personalities, but they can buy a lifestyle, and isn’t this the real dream? Knowing what is it like buying all the grass a round drink, go snorkeling to the big barrier reef, or ride a horse to observe your land?
Money is yours to spend, so buy your dreams.
Rooting for you,
For love and money
Are you looking for tips on how savings, debt or other financial challenge are affecting your relationships? Write about love and money using This form of Google.